Sunday, August 23, 2009

Scarring for healing

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I never think want to back to Korea; my home town. However, my cat, another Saya, when I think her, it makes me really hurt. I miss her sooooo much.. I miss her sweat fur, her voice, her eyes like green crystal and the time we used to sleep and wake up together and the moments used to talk with her.

Among my few friends in Chicago, one of them came back; most of the friends are going to their countries for travel and coming back at the end of vacation. One of the most beautiful summer vacations in my life has almost gone and the first day of the fall semester is coming with a little tension and confusion.

"How's your summer?", I asked him.
"Great! I didn't want to come back."
"wow~ really? what made you think like that?"
"haha... I fall in love."
"I see~ :> so, that's why you deferred your flight ticket which was supposed to be a month ago and cancelled our u.s. road trip planned before the holiday without any notice. hah?"
"well.. haha.." he couldn't answer immediately and continued, "so I bring Marlboro case as a means of apology for you."
"cool! sounds so nice! I can save much money! ok, I'll forgive you."

Although I had been a little disappointed with him because he messed up the rest of my vacation, I could not help forgiving him due to his energetic voice and his good news.

'Congratulations, guy! keep your angel for a long time. Good luck!'

photography by young hak

felt bored.. so, I've made this shelf.

what if projecting a video piece using i pad instead of one of books.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

So... have we had sex and then??
- no... maybe not yet. not really...

Every memory between me and him is dim and blurry.
not sure... it's due to lack of sleeping...

what were we talking about??
- ???

was it a dream?
I talked a lot... with you... didn't we??
-well, not so much.

no way... are you sure?? I think I did, seriously..
-tell me. what have you talked?

no... I can't remember it clearly...

it's a shame... I cannot share it with you...
strange... although I've just met you, I feel you are so close... like I've known you for a long time...
is it all because of the dream I had??
I'm a bit scared... everything would be a dream... even this moment...


Sunday, August 09, 2009

I finished 2 paints coffee flavour Hagen Darz Ice- cream again.. (16oz/paint)

Sunday, August 02, 2009

C-Print 2009. Thanks for Hyte Siera Jeannette

I look at my cocooned self. I have a fragile self, inside, that refuses to grow and chooses to stay secure in a small space. I consciously break shells to set myself free, to overcome stagnancy.

Strange... It used to happen on my birthday. The day that should have been the happiest day instead was the gloomiest day because of not hitting it off with people who were close to me. This time is exactly the same as before. No... it’s worse... I am barely holding back my tears almost bursting time and again... ‘that’s it. A birthday is nothing. Don’t think about it...While I am thinking, the cell phone rings. I shouldn’t have picked it up... I became a total mess. The tears are running and are not stopping. Don’t do that. Don’t think.To cheer myself up, I’m going out for a walk in this late night. To buy beer. ㅡ.ㅡ Yeah~! Lucky! Today, this market had my favourite sausage stick cheese tasting! Usually, they just have a squid tasting. :P Up!!
Maybe... people are easily depressed on their birthday because of expectations. Does a birthday really have that much importance? No way. Even I cannot remember the moment of my birth. On this birthday, I should congratulate my mommy for the difficult time she must have had giving birth to me.

On your 22nd Birthday C-print. 2009

sound story #1.bathroom 2min 42" single video installation on monitor. 2004

This piece is about the fictionality of what is believed to be real. People easily rely on their senses and think only what they take through their senses to be the truth. This work expresses the trap of this belief.

This is a video work where the observer can see a stationary scene of a toilet. Visuals are still but sounds are presented to lead the viewer to the direction the artist intended. (In the scene, a woman’s high hills are heard and followed by the sound of the woman presumably changing her sanitary napkin.) The scene ends with an unexpected situation, raising questions such as what is real, what exists, and what is hidden.


Cyberspace is another space I found. The anonymity and freedom gives me an outlet, where I can do what is impossible in reality.

I replicated my self in cyberspace, built a house for my avatar, and started to talk with it. By copying reality in cyberspace, instead of creating unrealistic images, I could re-create reality and keep an objective distance from it.

The avatar work was very time-consuming and monotonous, but the repeated editing, cutting and pasting to make it like a film totally engaged me. It all represents conversation with my self, but by securing a distance between the virtual reality and real reality, the realities mirror and strengthen each other; I am able to see my self in the recaptured reality of the cyberspace.

Who am I? ; Play Inside The Place
2min. 27" DV on monitor. 2002 exhibition mute / gallery phill in Seoul Feb. 2005


Who Am I? 2: We Are Many; But We Are All Alone.

3min 15" multi screen installation on monitors. 2002

Avatars are deconstructed selves in cyberspace. They represent human reality as it is - studying, watching TV, going to the bathroom and cooking. They multiply by turning up on the screen one by one or two by two. Each avatar is alone in his own space – they are alienated from each other.

In reality, we are restricted by physical space, and cannot see others who exist alone. However, cyberspace enables us to have a bird’s-eye viewpoint, a place where we can look at others all separately. At this point, cyberspace is not a mere representation of reality; it re-captures reality, presents it under a new light, and helps restore reality that is sometimes on the verge of collapsing into physical alienation.


One day, a young monk started to cry, waking from sleep.
An old monk surprisingly asked him the reason why he was crying. "Why are you bursting in tears? Did you have a night mare?"

The young monk said, 'No, I had a sweet dream.'
The old monk asked again, 'Why are you crying in spite of having a sweet dream??'

The young monk said,' The dream seemed too sweet to be realized, so it made me sad.'

in the 'Bitter-sweet life'